I want to go to services tonight, I really do. But there are curtain things that bother me more this year at my temple than they did last time I returned from Kutz. Things I don't understand, and simply won't except.
To me, a religious movement that founds itself on choice through knowledge, especially ritual choice, should allow you to daven in whatever way you find most acceptable to you. That is your autonomy. And I have been told that the tradition of one's shul is the equivalent of halacha, but even Yoffie, in the best way he can, has said we're not a halachic movement, it's about choice.
Please be seated.
Actually, I'd rather stand. So many, of those moments bothered me in Temple last week. I'd like to go back and daven with my Reform community, yet, the community unity I seek isn't there.
Not to say my home is much help. When I told my dad that, or something like it, I was told not to make it into a "political thing." It's not that. It's simply that I don't feel comfortable with the way my community chooses to function. It doesn't "work" for me.
I think I will try to go anyway....is that right, wrong? Who knows? If you do, share the secret. Until then, I have to get ready.
Temple starts at 6, whether the sun is down or not. Shabbat Shalom.
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3 comments:
you said the "community unity" you seeked wasn't there. why wasn't it there?
Isn't wanting a community of "unity" and saying that moments in your congregation "bothered" you disregarding pluralism in the same way?
I understand that davening is great, and if you would like to remain standing when they say please be seated that's a disagreement, but does being able to stand or sit really make that spiritual difference? When you are reciting these words--these monumental words that have been recited over thousands of years--does God really care how you're saying them? Does your community? Do you?
sorry that was a kind of rant i'm tired
and oh yeah i guess i have a blog now
That's an interesting question. I think I need a more challenging atmosphere is the best way to verbalize it. I need a place where people will challenge my beliefs and I can challenge theirs. It's strange watching everyone daven in the same way, with many probably unaware that there is a different way.
How do you mean disregarding pluralism? I don't want a community that functions in the exact same way.
I want people to pray differently, in a way they have discovered works for them. At the very least, I would appreciate if I had enough time and the freedom to daven in a way that makes me comfortable, and I cannot speak for anyone else, but I feel that some of my peers would agree.
Moments of uniformity confused me as well as some other things. For example to me, sitting in the middle of it, is a disruption to the amidah. I also think the addition of so much English is strange. Read David A.M.W.'s blog about setting fire to the church of the responsive reading. It's a testament to the kind of community I would prefer.
It's not just a matter of a bodily position, it is a matter of tradition. The tradition of the Jewish people, but more importantly in the Reform movement, my own tradition that I like to think I have developed based on knowledge of my faith.
I'm not really sure, you'd probably have to ask God. My community, I am not sure of. I would have to ask my rabbi. Yet, in a community where there is a norm, and everyone follows it, would not following it to satisfy your own understanding of prayer distance yourself from a community so used to uniformity? To me, it is a matter of choice in ritual. I think it's important.
Welcome to the blogging world. My dad thinks your really cool after he kicked me off the computer and read your comment haha
Oh Joshy,
You know how I feel about services at our shul after Kutz....It's really something that you have to decide that you can accept, or you need to find somewhere else to pray. Praying in a way that you aren't comfortable with sometimes just isn't right.
I know that the biggest part of prayer for me is the community unity, and I can no longer find it at our shul, so I no longer go. As I'm looking for other options, I've got to say that though I feel strange not attending shabbat services on a regular basis, for me, it is still better than feeling like a stranger in my own congregation.
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