Last night I had an interesting conversation with a friend and teacher about our places in the reform movement. Today, I doubt myself in the strangely ideal place to continue my thoughts.
Tonight I did not attend services as I would have liked, rather my mother required my services. I was to take care of about 15 little kids with the help of a few others. Before everyone arrived we were setting up as I sang some of my favorite Shabbat melodies...about 10 miles from my Temple...in a church lobby. Right after my dad got the McDonald's and I was forced to eat, as I am every first Friday of the month, that terrible treif, or unkosher food, my thoughts turned to my place. My place there was simple, I was helping my family as it expected. Yet, that conversation I had popped into my mind.
What is my place in this movement of mine?
Well there began my pondering. My experience with the URJ has been quite a good one. I have not attended a function in which I felt a Jewish choice of mine was simply disregarded and I was not allowed the ability to follow my decision. Then again, I eat treif and observe Shabbat in a way some would consider no observance at all, driving and the like, and consider every thing in life a choice, everything.
It seems my place in this movement is rooted in NFTY, appropriate, considering I am a Reform youth. Yet, NFTY is such a holy place to me. It is a place of absolute expression of one's Judaism free from any fear of criticism. It is a place to learn and grow in my own way. I am thankful I have been given this opportunity.
Still, I can't help but think that all this is true because NFTY is run so directly by my peers, of my peers, and for my peers, myself included. I worry, with all I've seen recently, what my place will be when these glory days are over and my place in the movement changes. If my place becomes that of Rabbi, college student, or temple member, what will my place be? Will I too struggle with my place in what I consider my own movement as many of my friends have? Will I loose sight of what it is to be Reform in my mind, what the movement means?
As I think these things, I choose to enjoy the time I have left and hope for the best after this whole high school thing. Until then, I'm just gonna eat the chicken nuggets because everything else from McD's tastes awful.
I feel like this entry was not as well expressed as I had wanted. I'm tired.
Friday, September 7, 2007
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